You're my little dorito
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
