Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
