Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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