Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I party with great urgency now.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
