btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
