I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
