gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
