oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
50% drunk capacity currently
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Enjoy the penises
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize