You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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