She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
A+ Viking dick
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
