She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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