i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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