i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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