I'm jealous of your bromance
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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