i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize