Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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