The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
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I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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