Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
