I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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