i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.