whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if only i could text you this smell
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.