two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
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His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle