I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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