yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
