hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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