you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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