I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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