Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
