Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
