I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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