Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
