Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
