is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
