Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize