spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
