Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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