Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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