so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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