we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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