So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
