break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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