everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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