Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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