This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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