just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
