This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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