i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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