I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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