No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
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at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
sex in a hospital.. check
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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