put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
