How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
