Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize