I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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