I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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