I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Blood and glitter go together right?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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