Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
