Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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