Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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