Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
